Goodbye Summer, It's Been...

Today I felt the first tingle of fall in the air, with a bit of a breeze and leaves all around us when we came home. Honestly, I'm ready to say goodbye to summer; it was much tougher than summer is supposed to be! Summer is advertised as a trip to a sunny place, long, lazy days at home, ice cream as often as possible. Ours turned out to be quite a lot more intense, with a new job for mama and new daycare for Declan, which then resulted in new schedules for all of us. Plus we ended up with way too many weekends in a row of travel for one or all of us. Calm and lazy it was not, but now we're fairly settled into our new routine and eagerly awaiting autumn. 

I have plenty of fun, happy photos to share, but that's because I rarely capture the less-than-stellar moments of my long commute, my frazzled attempts to learn my new job, the ache that comes with wishing I had more unscheduled time with my kids, and the frequent moments of wondering how we can make the next year as positive as possible before we wrap up our lease and hunt for a new place to live. As we inch into fall, I'm hopeful we can slow down, focus on the present, and enjoy our boys at this hilarious and wonderful age.

So, some flashes of our summer, as we wave farewell:

Marshall loves his new bed, but he asks to sleep in Declan's room most nights. Since Declan's room is the only one with air conditioning, we're happy to oblige and have M's old mattress on the floor in there. Once they're both asleep, we move Marshall into Dec's room, and in the morning they chatter to each other while we eavesdrop on the monitor. Soon, though not too soon I hope, Declan will switch to a toddler bed, and instead of hanging out calmly in their respective beds they'll be running rampant around the house at 6 am!

Now that we live so much closer, we are doing our best to take advantage of time with the boys' cousins! Sometimes it's tough because the kids' naps don't align, but any twin time is okay with me!

This big boy is too sweet. 

We found an adorable event near us, where we could ride a REAL Thomas the Tank Engine train! It was in the middle of the redwoods, and we all loved it. Such a chill, fun outing!

We got Declan into corn on the cob this summer: check!

Our tomato plants exploded! We've only actually gotten to eat maybe 10 tomatoes, but they are truly delicious. I hope we get a late crop this month so I can make bruschetta!

:-)

Hiking in the Santa Cruz mountains

Declan going for World's Strongest Man; Marshall probably pretending to be a dinosaur.

We live pretty close to some of our best friends from college, and Marshall is about the same age as their older son. As luck would have it, the two boys have hit it off and are total buddies! They even joined soccer together this summer, so Marshall is officially in his first sport!

Here's some of that summer ice cream!

This month has been all about dinosaurs, so Marshall was pretty stoked to find a dinosaur on the merry-go-round. 

While the boys were at the amusement park, I was at Amanda's bachelorette weekend! (Photo taken in Paso Robles after a fun night of dancing and great champagne!) Her wedding is this weekend, and I am so excited and anxious and giddy and just thrilled to celebrate her and Duncan. They are getting married in Downtown LA, and Terry and I are looking forward to the added bonus of a night away while the kiddos stay with Gammie and Grandpa!

Makin' pizzas--Declan has become my little kitchen helper this summer! Marshall will help once in awhile, but he's usually engrossed in his Legos. This dude is pretty into the chef thing, though, and we're hoping we can convince him to be a chef for Halloween.

Brothers bonding over utensils at the dinner table.

We squeezed in a trip to the Delta and are seeing how fun it will be to hang out there once the boys are a liiiiiittle older. Declan had a rough time and was not happy for 90% of it, but I'm sure next time will be better. Marshall had a blast!

 Some other fun scenes:

Yoga with Dada

This kid looooooooves his blanket. Fun fact: Aunt Jenny gave us this blanket when I was pregnant with Marshall, but one day Declan giggled madly when we covered him with it in his crib and he has not slept without it since. I kind of love that he has a security blanket!

Little carts at TJs--fun, but not big enough for all our food!

I think this was another hike...?

Reading <3

Here are those Legos I mentioned. He's building some pretty impressive sets! He follows the instructions all by himself, and he's ridiculously patient. He'll sit there for hours! We have to pull him away to go run around and get outside. (Is this the ultimate nerd photo or what?)

So that's it! Looking back, summer was great, of course, and all these memories are good reminders that the stressful days, long commutes, not-so-smooth transitions are all worth it to build our foundation up here. I'm not busting out the pumpkins yet (talk to me next weekend, though...), but bring on the cooler weather, cozy evenings, and weekends with NO PLANS! Fall, here we come!

More Summer 2018

The last month or so has been especially busy around here, so I'm playing a little catch-up in hope of finding a tiny bit of time to post consistently (once a month? maybe?) going forward. Anyway, July brought a downpour of change around here, including the start of my new job and Declan's return to daycare for the first time since November of last year (Marshall has been attending preschool full time since January). We've all had a tough time adjusting to the new routine, but I'm hopeful that we're slowly seeing some signs of getting the hang of things.

Maybe someday I'll get another day in the life post up, but our daily routine involves Terry taking the morning shift with the kids, bringing them to their schools around 9 am and then heading to work. I leave the house before 7 to start work by 7:30 or 8, and then I get off around 4 to get to the kids by 5 or 5:30, home by 5:30 or 5:45, then a little bit of play before dinner and bed. Back to packing lunches, no time for stopping at the grocery store mid-week, no sitting on the couch until 9 or 9:30 pm. It's definitely NOT enough time with the kids, but we're doing our best to make the most of it, and we really soak up our weekends!

Some fun from this summer so far:

Swim lessons for our little fish - he LOVES it!

Our favorite swimming book (we refer to it whenever Marshall is nervous about trying something new). It's a GREAT book in many ways, and both kids love it!

Marshall wrapped up swim "camp" and can definitely swim a few feet completely independently now! With a life jacket, he can hang out for quite a long time on his own, and he's getting more and more confident every time he's in the water. 

New basketball hoop from our friends whose kids didn't use it!

Smoothies on the kitchen floor (I don't remember why they ended up there instead of at the table, but I do remember Marshall sweetly putting his arm around his brother). 

Terry and I built a ridiculously difficult 2000 piece puzzle, and we let Marshall put in the last piece because he had supported us through the weeks of working on it!

Strong little dude!

Beach time! We brought the kids to the beach without checking the weather. It was so cold! But they still had a blast!

And we grabbed donuts after--YUM!

Riding around the neighborhood! Declan is still too little for his tricycle, so he's eager to start riding for real. And Marshall is great on his trike, but he's really ready to move up to a bike with training wheels. Perhaps in the next few weeks!

Random outings when we find ourselves with time to kill in the Bay Area.

One day recently, Dec missed his nap due to our poor planning, so I cradled him and he was out in a few minutes. My arms were KILLING me!

Shopping for Marshall's new big bed! (He was in a toddler bed for about two years.)

Park time!

Baking PopPop's birth cake with mama! 

We're really loving our time with these sweet boys. This age is a blast! Of course, we have lots of moments of struggle with one kid or the other's emotions. Toddlers are dealing with a lot, and they are overwhelmed a lot of the time, so we are just trying to be patient and understanding. But for the most part, we have two very sweet, chill, funny kids, and we truly enjoy whatever time we get with them. We feel so grateful. I am already looking forward to more summer memories!

Back to Work and Life Lately

Life lately has been nothing short of chaos. We're in a season of survival as we try to figure out a new rhythm now that I'm back at work. Honestly, it's really hard. But there are some long-term goals at play, and we're hoping this tough part will be well worth it eventually.

I headed back to work and into a new job on January 17, after our trip to DC. I knew that starting a completely new position would cause some extra stress, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Now, several weeks in, I can share how things are going. 

On the work front, things are great. I absolutely love my new role, the people I work with, and the department. It's a huge challenge and some completely new territory (read: I'm totally in over my head as I learn everything!), but the days fly and I like being busy to keep my mind off missing my babies. So far, I think it's a great fit for me! Bonus: my boss and closest coworker both have young kids and have been there with the whole baby thing, so I'm in good company. 

Outside of the actual work, returning to work has been one of the hardest challenges I've ever faced. I cried a lot the first week and still get sad thinking about how little time I get with Declan and Marshall. It amounts to about an hour in the morning and two or three hours at night on weekdays. Even writing that out makes my heart ache a little. Being able to count the hours I spend with my kids (on one hand, no less) isn't something I was able to do when Marshall was tiny, but here we are.

The adjustment was tough for Marshall at first. He's acted out a bit, thrown a few extra tantrums, struggled to understand what's going on. I've missed bedtime a couple times already due to work events, and I'm not sure who was more sad--me or the toddler. Declan seems to be doing well, though. He gets lots of time with Daddy, has been eating well and sleeping (mostly) well, and he still smiles and laughs a ton. 

Overall, since we're only a few weeks in, I'm trying to give myself a break and plenty of time to adjust to everything. It feels like there's nowhere near enough time for everything--quality time with the family, individual time with each kid, working, basic housekeeping and meals...a lot of plates are spinning! The guilt is insane, and I feel like I'm constantly letting someone down. But Terry has helped tremendously with reminding me that it'll get better. And I'm lucky to have several friends in my same position who have been a wonderful source of comfort and support.

I hope that someday I'll have a few pieces of advice or some wise words to share about making it all work as a working mom of two, but for now, here's what I've got:

- Leaving my kids sucks. Every single day. I don't think that part will ever get easier.

- When Marshall tells us about fun projects at school and/or I see how much his teachers love him, I remember how great this experience is for him and how great it will be for Declan too. 

- Having a job I love is key to survival. Otherwise I would have quit by now! But the job is something that I really enjoy and challenges me in a new, exciting way. It doesn't make leaving my kids any easier, but it makes those hours away feel more worthwhile and gratifying.

- My friend mentioned to me that when she misses mom moments (putting her kids to bed, helping around the house, etc.), she reminds herself that work is the way she contributes to the family sometimes. 

I'm still learning about being a working mom of two, and you know I'll share more insight as I gain it! Ultimately, the best part is always coming home at the end of the day to these three:

And now for millions of photos from recently...

Declan learned to roll a few weeks ago, which interrupted his sleep a bit. Now he's starting to sleep on his belly, which makes me nervous but seems comfy for him. 

Check out these twins! Except Declan (left) is only four months in the same outfit as Marshall at NINE months!

Getting used to eating lunches at work, including this tasty kale salad with chicken, walnuts, and cheese.

Chunky boy!

When I (rarely) squeeze in a workout, Scout refuses to miss his cuddle time.

This is a twelve-month onesie.

Terry is truly an amazing dad. Recently he took the Metro to pick up Marshall from school (with Declan in the Ergo!) - such a fun treat for this little boy!

Marshall has shown a lot of interest in letters lately, so I got him some magnetic letters for the kitchen.

We've traveled up north no fewer than THREE times in the last two months, which is insane. Two weeks ago we headed up for my mom's 60th(!) birthday, and I made her a big collage similar to ones she has made for many of us in the past.

We also figured out who Declan looks like--ME! 

Eiger and Declan became more acquainted.

As did Declan and Diane--who is about to become a first-time grandma any minute!!!

 And got to see more of our favorites!

And one more random fun photo: Trader Joe's allowing Marshall to help ring up groceries. :-)

Okay, tons more photos coming in tomorrow's post!