Tupperware and Cardboard Boxes

I missed my blog post last night because I needed to get to bed early, and I'm so glad I made that choice. Marshall has been up every morning around 3 or 4 am this week, and it's been at least an hour getting him back to sleep each time. Last night I went to bed by 10 and told myself that if he woke up at 4 and wouldn't go back to sleep I would just roll with it and get up then.

Sure enough, he did wake up at 4, and I was dead tired, but I felt a lot less grumpy about it because I had told myself I'd likely be getting up then anyway. That way, if he went back to sleep (which he did!), great, but if he didn't, I would just have a few more hours of being awake. Lucky for me, he snoozed next to me for another hour or so before getting up at 6. Much more manageable (although my husband, who got to deal with my zombie self and brought me tea in bed after changing Marshall, may call my bluff).

After some tea and watching Marshall wave his Taggies blanket like a madman for twenty minutes (what? isn't that how you start your morning?), I felt downright chipper. I e-mailed Terry and told him I'm going to be positive today--no complaining, no matter what comes my way. It's so easy to whine about a lot of aspects of my day, and I find myself taking that route too often. Instead I'm going to look for the good and ignore the inconvenient.

So backing up a little bit, yesterday was a good day, even if I wasn't feeling super positive. Marshall and I enjoyed a productive morning, complete with Tupperware fun

 and then attended a class at Gymboree. I really loved our My Gym experience, but I thought I should check out Gymboree just for the sake of comparison (both sites offer a free first class). We enjoyed the class--bubbles, parachute waving, crawling up a ramp, lots of singing, puppets, and an awesome teacher--but I liked the vibe a lot better at My Gym, so we're going to stick with that one.

This is Marshall's "I'm checking things out before I dive in" face. One pointed foot and one flexed.

Later in the afternoon, we met up with Terry for another run. I am really loving how much this little running challenge has motivated us. 20 miles in 25 days isn't horribly ambitious for some people, but after taking such a long time off running (at least nine months?) I am feeling the burn. And honestly on days like yesterday I would normally just forget it and opt for a rest day or at-home workout (which, lately, is more like 15 minutes of whatever exercises I feel like doing that moment).  But as it was we knew we needed to get a run in, so we met up at the beach and completed about three miles, two of which were jogging. 

So now we have completed a total of 11 miles running; we have 10 days left and 9 miles more to go. We're only running two or two and a half miles each time, and veeeery slowly, mostly because of me. I knew pregnancy and the C-section would change my body, but I had no idea how much. I think I've mentioned it before, but the biggest obstacle is pain/weakness in my lower abs and hip flexors. Naturally, they must be super weak because I avoided core exercise during pregnancy and gave myself lots of time to recover from the surgery. But rebuilding those muscles is tough, mentally and physically. It's frustrating to remind myself that I need to take it slow and easy for a while until I feel stronger. I need more time to warm my body up, and my body gets tired much more quickly than it used to, so our runs end up being shorter. Thankfully Terry is patient and will run ahead a bit and come back for me when I need to walk. I think the important thing for now is continuing to take it slow, walking when I need to, and incorporating some safe core exercises (planks, crunches on the stability ball) to build up my lower ab and hip flexor strength. 

Well that was a hell of a tangent. On to today: 

We enjoyed a stroll through Target again, and Marshall's getting more comfortable in the cart.

He held on for dear life in that thing, which was adorable. He looks so little in the cart!

Marshall and I went to the park again, but this time I snagged an acai bowl and enjoyed it while we looked at the seagulls. 

Marshall had a few spoonfuls of lentil soup, which I had packed for him. The whole thing was delightfully messy, mostly because he was more interested in the birds than in getting the spoon to his mouth.

This seagull was a bully. He threatened any other seagull who came near us and stared at me the entire time. Terry said perhaps he was protecting us, and I suppose I should have thought the same thing in the spirit of being positive.

When we got home a special package had arrived: our video monitor!!! We chose a Dropcam at the recommendation of a few other parent friends, and it looks like a pretty awesome setup already (engineer husband had it ready to go about ten minutes after he got home). Marshall was much more interested in exploring his first cardboard box. 

Scout was pissed. Cardboard boxes are normally his thing. Poor little kitten. (See him in the background?)

Tomorrow Marshall and I are attending an infant library event (I have no idea what to expect, but I feel like finger puppets might be involved) and then he has his first swim class. But I think I'm most excited about a little girls' night out action (aka dinner with Jenn at 6:30, home by 8). It'll be my first night out without Marshall or Terry since the little guy was born. Speaking of which, Marshall turns 8 months tomorrow, and I'll have his little 8-month update on the blog next week.

Anyone else have these running issues post-pregnancy or post-C-section? Tips?

Do you hold on to your Target cart for dear life, too?

Any fun plans this weekend? Aside from my girls' night, we are planning to hang out at the park on Saturday and get a run in at some point. 

Have a wonderful, fun weekend!

5 Months Postpartum

I haven't written much of a formal update about how I'm doing postpartum lately, and I've gotten lots of positive feedback on previous postpartum posts, so here's a little update:

Emotions
I finally feel normal. I definitely don't cry very much at all (back to my cold, heartless self :-), and I am even a little less crazy about being unwilling to leave Marshall with other people. I've been so thankful to have my parents and Terry's parents around and willing to baby-sit. I know I can trust them, and it's been really good for me to get out on my own or with Terry. I do think that staying home full time with Marshall has made me much slower to get comfortable with leaving him, so that's something I want to work on. Marshall actually had a TOTAL meltdown with my parents the other week when I left him with them to pick up Terry, and I did okay! I was grateful they called to ask me for suggestions, because I'm the type who would rather know about it (and help) than find out about it later and stress out about what I could have done to help. Of course, my parents managed to calm him down just fine. Babies get to have crazy mood swings like the rest of us.

I am, however, having a tough time with the fact that we'll be moving Marshall to his crib this week. It's time (he's way too big for his co-sleeper), but it'll be hard on me. I'm also dreading the late-night feedings, because our room is as far as possible from his (yes, we live in an apartment, but I wish our rooms were right next to each other). Now instead of being cozy in my bed and helping him back to sleep at an arm's distance, I'll have to either walk back and forth as needed or hang out in/near his room until he falls asleep. I also think I worry about normal stuff, like What if the monitor stops working and I don't hear him crying? What if I never sleep again out of worry? What if a spider/raccoon/bear gets into his room? Typical mom stuff, I'm sure.

I'm still recovering from the C-section. Joining the ICAN Facebook group has been a huge help because I see so many women who went through something similar to what I experienced. And I'm feeling a lot better overall about the fact that I needed the surgery.

Exercise
I feel like exercise is heading in a great direction. I'm jogging somewhat regularly (once a week or so), walking a lot and for longer distances, and even finally adding some consistent strength training back into the mix. I'm challenging myself to get at least 30 minutes of walking each day, plus strength at least 2-3 times per week. I feel really good and much more normal as I get more and more exercise.

I realize this is a photo of Terry and not me. You get the idea.

Postpartum Weight Loss and Body
I haven't mentioned much about weight loss for a few reasons. First of all, I don't weigh myself regularly and only did so during pregnancy to make sure I was gaining weight appropriately. Secondly, postpartum weight loss was super quick after Marshall arrived, mostly because of breastfeeding (and, obviously, not having a baby in my belly anymore). So I don't feel like I did much to "earn" my weight loss and therefore didn't have much to say on the topic.

Yesterday, at the doctor, I learned that I'm now back to my pre-pregnancy weight, which is great, but I still don't feel (or look) the way I did pre-pregnancy. And that's okay, because I'm not the same as I was back then. Now I'm nourishing a (rapidly growing) baby boy and trying to find time to exercise regularly. I am not nearly as toned as I would like to be (hence weighing less but not feeling particularly spectacular), but there's time for that later. My priorities have shifted, so I'll get back to a new level of fitness in good time.

My hips expanded! I know that's supposed to happen and it's normal, but I just really noticed it in the last few weeks. Most of my clothes still fit me, but they fit a little differently.

My hair is falling out. I had heard of postpartum hair loss, but it's insane. I have a visible bald spot growing near my left temple, which looks awesome, and there's hair EVERYWHERE. I feel like I need to vacuum every day.

My scar still tingles a little, and my stomach is sore in some places, but it's getting better. As I get stronger, I notice that my stomach feels less sore, so that motivates me to keep it up!

Other Changes
I'm starting to feel more of a desire to go back to work. I absolutely love staying home with Marshall, but I think since I know I'll go back to work sooner or later, I am anxious about staying away too long and feeling like I can't get back into the swing of things when I do want to go back.

I'm finally getting into a routine of putting a little time into myself in the mornings. I try to wash my face, brush my teeth, put my contacts in before we leave the bedroom to play (Marshall usually hangs out on the bed with a toy during these five minutes). Otherwise it just won't happen. And I even wear makeup most days (brow liner, eyeshadow, mascara, and sometimes a little blush). My hair is almost always in a ponytail because I usually shower late at night and skip the blow drying, but at least I take regular showers now. That's a step in the right direction!

Leaving the house has gotten much easier. I used to dread going out and put it off almost the whole day because it was such a hassle to get out (packing up, making sure Marshall was clean and fed and dry, then usually having to start all over on the way out the door because Marshall would spit up). Also the car seat was too heavy. Now, though, I just strap Marshall into the Ergo and head out. He still spits up half the time we're leaving, but I'm calmer and faster about cleaning up.

Everything Else
For a long time, I felt like I really missed Terry. We were around each other a lot, but we didn't have a lot of time to just hang out, relax, chat about things we used to. I found myself talking about Marshall 95% of the time we were alone, and I missed our old conversations about more varied topics. But I feel like that's getting better now, too. We make it a point (most nights) to sit at the dining room table with the TV off for dinner, and we have really great conversations. We also are getting more dates in, thanks to grandparents, which is good for me and for us as a couple. But also, I think our relationship is naturally getting back to normal because we're getting more sleep, we're getting the hang of this parenting thing, and we're getting more exercise and healthy meals. It's all connected!

I love writing these posts and reflecting on how I'm doing in recovery. Pregnancy is such a hot topic, but I really don't read much about postpartum (parenthood, yes, but not the emotional and physical changes that come with it). It's nice to have a conversation about it. I would love to hear your experience, advice, thoughts, questions, comments. Please don't hesitate to contact me!

Other postpartum posts: three weeks, seven weeks, twelve weeks. Plus, breastfeeding at 15 weeks.

12 Weeks Postpartum: How I'm Doing

I think it's time for a little update! My last one about me was at seven weeks postpartum, so I'll follow  some of the same format.

Emotions
I think my emotions have finally leveled out. I'm still a bit more emotional in general than I used to be, but I don't cry at everything the way I did the first two weeks and I don't feel as overwhelmed as I did when Terry first went back to work.

That said, I still have tough days. This week, for example, was very close to hellish. We had a great time at Jenn and Justin's wedding and visiting our friends on the way home, but then we kind of felt like our schedule was off before the week even started. Monday was my birthday, but we kept things mellow because Terry was swamped at work (he ended up pulling an all-nighter that night). Tuesday I woke up all achy and feverish, which turned out to be a bout of mastitis. Thankfully I felt mostly better yesterday, but by then we were both exhausted and had hardly done any housework or unpacking. Today was just blah, and Terry's work doesn't look to be slowing down anytime soon. I know, first world problems, but when they all pile up like that I do get a bit down.

Luckily, a lot of my emotions lately are happy ones, because Marshall is so much more interactive, responsive, and fun! I'll write more about that in his three-month post, but a baby who smiles and is getting close to laughing is much more fun than one who just stares at you.

The Hardest Part
So far, I still agree with what I said last time. Being a mom isn't easy!

Exercise
It's slow going, but I'm trying hard to go for a long walk every day at least. Today was by far my most active day. I guess I needed to get some stress out at the end of such a tough week, but I did about 25 minutes of my favorite yoga video (working up to being able to do the full 45 minutes--if Marshall will allow it), 3 sets of 15 reps each of hammer curls and overhead presses, 5 sets of 20 dips, a bunch of calf raises, and a long walk (maybe three miles) with Marshall on the Strand. Now I'm curious to see how sore I'll be tomorrow.

Overall, though, workouts vary daily based on how the day goes and what time Terry gets home. We're trying to meet at the Strand once a week for a long walk and/or run, like we did today, but strength training takes a backseat to other responsibilities more often than not. Still, I find myself throwing in a few push ups or squats here and there, and I know this time is only temporary. Excited as I am to build back up to my intense stuff, as long as I get a walk in I'm happy for now. Hopefully Terry's work will calm down so we can take turns getting more dedicated workout time in, but it'll happen in time.

Postpartum Body
I haven't really talked much about it yet, but things are certainly different! I lost almost all the pregnancy weight right away, but I think I've gained some back, so I'm maybe five pounds above where I started pre-pregnancy. That seems about right to me, though, since I'm breastfeeding and need to be able to feed our giant child. I could do MUCH better about my nutrition, though, so that's going to be a goal for next month. More greens, more veggies and fruits, and more water!

As far as how I feel about how I look, I think I have a long way to go before I'm satisfied, but I'm also in no rush. My legs and arms are less toned, my abs are nonexistent, and I definitely have hips now! Things are just kind of squishy in some places. I'm not wearing any maternity clothes anymore, but my pants are all a tiny bit snug. But it all comes with the territory, and I'll get back to a new normal eventually.

Also, my scar has healed, but my entire lower abdomen area is still sore and tingly to the touch. I think that's normal. I hope.

Routines
When I was pregnant and after Marshall was born, I felt anxious about how this baby would disrupt our comfortable routines. And disrupt our lives he did! But in the best possible way. (Hello, mom cliche.)

Now our routines are finally settling back down and look something like this:

• Wake up at least once per night to feed Marshall, burp him, and change his diaper. He puts himself back to sleep almost every time, so this event takes about 30-45 minutes.
• Wake up around 7-8, depending on Marshall. 
• Spend the morning eating, playing, and napping. Play time involves singing, making faces trying to get M to smile, reading books, tummy time, and looking at toys. We run through this pattern of eating, playing, and sleeping about every two hours.

• During Marshall's naps I eat, play with Scout, or tidy up the house. His longest naps are around 45 minutes, so I rarely have time for more than that.
• In the afternoons we get out of the house for our long walk, errands, etc. Marshall tends to sleep.
• Terry usually gets home around 6, at which point he spends time with Marshall or we all play together. If it's a bath night, we give him the bath together and then read a story before putting him to bed around 7-7:30.
• Then I head back out to cook dinner. Terry usually tidies up or helps around the house however he can, and we eat around 8:30. It's been nice to just start eating later, because then we get quiet time just the two of us. When we were trying to eat at 6:30 or 7, the nights felt hectic and we weren't really paying attention to Marshall. This way is more relaxing and fun.
• We watch some TV, relax, chat, and clean up before heading to bed around 10:30.

The weekends are obviously a different story, but the weekdays are nice. I am now part of a MOMS group, and my first outing with them is tomorrow, so I hope that will mix things up a bit. I'm also trying to have one "big" outing per week, like visiting a friend or driving up to UCLA to walk around campus. It will help me stay sane, I think.

So that's where things are now. I feel pretty lucky that I am able to breastfeed and that I'm finding some time to work out. Those are huge gifts to me, and I can start working on better menu planning, more comprehensive workouts, and more "me" time. I know I'll look back at this time eventually and miss it, so I'm trying to soak it all in!

Marshall: Two Months

Happy two-month birthday, Marshall!

You are growing and growing and growing!

(Photos taken at one month, six weeks, and two months)

At two months, your measurements are:
Weight: 13 pounds 14.8 ounces
Height: 24.75 inches
Head circumference: 15.75 inches 

You're in the 95th percentile for height and weight, which doesn't surprise us (50th percentile for head circumference). The doctor said you're the size of a four month old. No wonder you feel so big and eat so much!

Speaking of which, you eat a LOT still, but you and I are becoming much more efficient at nursing. You usually eat for five minutes on each side, unless you're extra sleepy, so I'm grateful we aren't on the couch all day (it used to take you 20 minutes per side!). Allegedly babies are supposed to go two or three hours between feedings, but you usually prefer an hour or two. You also started taking a bottle this month! Since I'm making a lot more milk than you need, we have a lot stored up. Daddy has given you a few bottles here and there, and now we have plenty extra just in case.

Unfortunately, you're still spitting up a lot. We have about 45 burp cloths, and we go through them all in about three days. Sometimes you go through seven or eight outfits in a day because you spit up so much. But since you're a growing, happy boy, we just go with the flow (pun intended?) and try to protect the carpets.

You are still a very serious baby, but it makes each smile all the more fun.

We can usually get a big smile or two out of you in the morning, and then you are done with that nonsense. Time to focus on big tasks, like tummy time, batting at your toys (slowly developing this new skill), and watching everything, taking it all in. You're very good at following your daddy and me with your eyes and even move your head to watch us! People who meet you also love to comment on your funny facial expressions. And you really are funny to watch!

You haven't discovered Scout yet! He is still nervous around you and prefers it when you're sleeping (ideally in another room). Sometimes he runs up to you and sniffs your head and then pounces away. We're still hoping you'll become friends when you're older. Perhaps when you're able to feed him and truly earn his love.

You love lights and shadows. At night I turn on a small light to feed you and change your diaper without waking us up too much, and you love watching the shadows on the ceiling. You also love to find lights wherever we go and just stare.

This month was filled with new adventures for you! We visited new parks, drove 1.5 hours (your longest trip yet) to a birthday party, and spent a lot of time with all four grandparents. You love them!

So far, you seem to like the Ergo carrier. If you want to cuddle and I want to move, this guy works great for us. You seem so cozy in there, even though it's been a super hot summer and you get all sweaty.

You also got to meet your aunt and uncle!

I'm home with you all day, and I love love love getting to spend so much time with you. We don't have any sort of a schedule yet, but usually you like to sleep, then eat, then play. Your naps are anywhere from 30 minutes to three hours during the day, and you can tolerate about 30-45 minutes of play time. Sometimes you eat twice before going back to sleep (no surprise there). You seem like you're getting closer to starting to roll over, lifting up your legs and wiggling side to side.

At night, you go to sleep around 7:30. Then the nights are still pretty inconsistent, but usually you wake up twice to eat (maybe around 1 and 5), and you're great about going back to sleep on your own! You seem to like your swaddle and sleep well in it unless you feel gassy. Then you're up for the day around 7:30.

The best days are the days when Daddy is home to hang out with us. We love to take you for walks, visit new places, and play with you. You love dancing with your dad to oldies music. We love to read to you, but you will only let us read for a few minutes before you are ready to do something else.

Two months flew by in a flash. We can't wait to see what month #3 has in store for you!

Our New Normal: Weekend

Before Marshall was born, I felt a lot of anxiety about how a baby would change the dynamics of our marriage. Terry and I have always been go-go-go people, packing tons of fun into our weekends. I wondered if we would feel trapped at home or if we would start to become total homebodies.

So far, I think we've found a great balance for this transition into parenthood. We definitely don't pack nearly as much into each weekend, but we also don't want to. We're tired! So each weekend contains one "big" outing or event and then we spend a lot of time trying to sleep in, catching up on chores or errands, and relaxing. It's a new kind of fun, though, because watching our baby do tummy time is suddenly as exhilarating as a trip to wine country! Here's a little glimpse into a typical weekend with baby on board.

On Friday, Terry volunteered to take over baby duties so I could enjoy a little time to myself (my first extended "break" since baby arrived!). So I laced up my shoes and went out for a run.

It was short, but I can tell I'm already improving my endurance and strength. I only moved 1.5 miles, and I definitely walked at least a third, but I'm trying to ease back in to workouts, so it felt fine to limit myself. Also, I'm taking my time on the 100 Push Up Challenge (FYI, I'm using the "Level 1" column for each day...again, we're easing back in here). I started last Monday but felt sore for about three days, so I just completed Week 1 today.

I've also completed a few very mellow lower body strength training workouts. They've been indoors, bodyweight only--squats, plie squats, stationary lunges, glute bridges, etc. It's great to feel a little sore! While I have a LONG way to go before I feel "normal," at least I notice a difference in my mood, outlook, and body image when I do something active daily.

Friday evening we finally got to see Jenn and Justin's new place and had a blast catching up with them. I'm always excited to hear updates about Jenn's wedding planning, especially since the big day is only about three weeks away!

On Saturday, Terry and I took Marshall on his longest drive so far (1.5 hours) to visit our friends for a 30th birthday party. We had a great time catching up, being outside, and relaxing with friends. Marshall and Kayla (Heidi and Ed's daughter, who is three weeks older than our little guy) are a crime-fighting duo now!

(Thanks for the onesie and the photo, Heidi!)

Terry joined in with his Captain America shirt, too.

Yesterday was a wonderfully mellow day. Terry let me sleep in a bit after a rough night with Marshall, and then we took a family walk to our new favorite bakery for pastries. We also took advantage of a free afternoon to do some laundry and chores, and the house feels cleaner than it has in weeks.

My spectacular chef of a husband grilled some chicken for dinner--a perfect end to the weekend, along with some Cribbage and Parks and Recreation after Marshall went to bed.

Today's outing was a fun meet-up with my friend and her toddler. We checked out a new-to-us park in the area. Marshall and I arrived about a half hour early and took a lovely walk. It feels so great to be outside now that the weather isn't sweltering!

My parents are coming into town tomorrow, and I can't wait. I know they were just here a few weeks ago, but already Marshall has grown so much. I wish they could see him more, but I know I'm lucky that they've already visited three times since he was born. I'm thankful that we already have plans to see them twice in August!


And here's a random photo from a few weeks ago. :-)

He's just so serious.

Hope your week is off to a great start!