Sunday, May 10, 2015

My First Mother's Day

Today was practically perfect in every way (Mary Poppins would be proud). Terry woke up early with Marshall and let me sleep in. I woke up to find the two of them playing, one of my favorite sights.

Terry made delicious pancakes for breakfast, and we spent the morning relaxing, packing a little, and getting organized for Marshall's first birthday party this weekend. After Marshall's nap, we headed to the park for a family walk, some jogging(!), hanging on the swings, and climbing on the playground.

We even saw a little family of ducklings!

We ran a few errands and enjoyed lunch at home, and I colored my hair (those motherhood-induced greys just had to go). Then I got to open my present! Along with two very sweet cards from my boys, I received a collage of photos of Marshall and me. I absolutely LOVE it! Good job, Terry!

Then Marshall showed off some new skills: stacking his rings! Way to go, buddy!

Marshall and Scout even hung out together. Until Marshall whacked Scout on the nose with his wooden spoon. Sorry Scout.

I got to cook one of our favorite dinners: Butternut Squash Soup with Curry Condiments. Thank you, Ina. And thank you, Terry, for providing Mumm sparkling wine for me tonight!

In fact, special thanks overall to Terry for making today so absolutely wonderful!

Naturally, today offered me some time to think about motherhood, so here are my thoughts.

Motherhood is, without question, the role at which I'm best. A lot of other times in my life, I've felt I was somehow less than capable, and certainly never spectacular. I was never the best dancer growing up, and I went to high school at one of the most intense academic schools in California (I graduated with a 3.8 GPA and felt wildly inferior to my peers). I attended UCLA but seriously questioned whether they had made a mistake admitting me until I received my diploma. As a teacher, I was often told that I was good at my job, but I don't think I ever believed I was that good. Obviously, I had a lot of doubts about my abilities. I wouldn't call myself insecure (I have the world's most supportive and encouraging parents and husband who are somehow convinced I am actually great at all these things), but I viewed myself as Average Abby (Just Julie?) most of the time.

And then last year, I became a mom. Of course I had a lot of moments of insecurity there, too, and we can get into those another time. But overall, I know I'm a good mom to Marshall. I feel confident that the choices I make as a mom are ones I can stand behind. I don't doubt myself constantly the way I have in other roles. And I truly enjoy getting to be Marshall's mom, which is the best part!

As we near Marshall's one-year mark, I find myself reflecting more and more about what I've learned about motherhood. I've learned lessons in patience (with Marshall, with myself, with my husband, with well-meaning people who want to give advice), sacrifice, and loving someone more and more each day. I have grown to admire other mothers for their patience, sacrifice, and love, and I appreciate learning from other mothers whenever I get the chance. I have lots of examples of incredible mothers in my life, from my own mom to lots of friends and family who have shown me what it's all about. I can't wait to see where this journey as a mom takes me next!

Today--and this weekend as a whole--was fantastic. Marshall got to hang out with his grandparents; I got to enjoy my first Mother's Day with my wonderful husband and sweet baby boy; and I was totally spoiled with all my favorite things.
What is that face?

And an extra special happy Mother's Day to my mom! Love you, JanJan!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, moms-to-be, and moms who wish to be!


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