It's not so bad. I thought I would be a mess this week (all romantic comedies told me I should be), but (so far) I'm feeling really great. It helps that the people I see every day--my husband and baby--fill me with joy. How can I feel depressed about growing old when I'm blessed to spend almost all my time with these guys? Plus, in the last year if I ever felt that "ugh I'm getting old" feeling, I would remind myself: "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many" (author unknown). How true, and what a way to remember to be thankful that I get to celebrate another birthday.
Yes, I know 30 isn't old. But it's older, and it marks a new decade in my life. It's a nice time for reflection and for thinking about what I've done well and what I would like to do better. There are plenty of items in both categories, which makes me happy: I have some successes in my life, but I get to continue to grow and try to become a better person. I look forward to that.
I feel a strange sense of calm. Almost my entire life, I've been all about setting goals and racing to become the most successful version of myself. Naturally, I still hope that my future holds plenty of excitement, adventures, and success, but I feel really content with my life right now. I'm less anxious about being in great shape or being productive every second or having my dream career or owning a house tomorrow. I love where I am. I love being a wife and mom, roles I've longed to hold my entire life. I don't take those for granted, and I thank God every day for blessing me with these boys.
Here's to a wonderful thirty years so far--and to the next thirty, too!